To start, this is a picture of my friend, Craig Dooley. He is a wonderful man. I texted him last night to let him know that I would be writing about him. I think he might be surprised by the huge pic. I met him through the Tribe.
A while back, he wrote this testimonial for the Tribe website: “The Tribe Mens group is a monthly meeting where the format and topics are casual and relaxed. The conversation is real and practical. The guys who attend are the same ones you’d grab a beer, watch a game or hang out with your kids with. We take a couple of hours to have some honest conversation about challenges and growth opportunities that are shared (roles, career, family) and about specific issues that someone might want to share or to ask for support. By the end of the evening, you’ll have learned something, I guarantee it – whether it’s about yourself or the world around you – and you’ll be glad you spent the time.”
He refers to the guys who attend Tribe meetings as “the same ones you’d grab a beer, watch a game or hang out with your kids with.” I have often heard these types of men and the men who attend Tribe meetings referred to as “regular” guys.
And I wonder, what is a regular guy?
The Urban Dictionary defines a regular guy as “a guy who is humble, down-to-earth, open and honest, easy to get along with, and generally well-versed about all the usual things people do. Someone who isn’t power-hungry, arrogant, super competitive, insecure, or egotistical. A guy you’d want to have a conversation with about things like sports, fishing, camping, hard work, relationships, home repair, music, cars, movies, power tools, etc. A guy who will never embarrass you or cause problems socially and has nothing to prove.”
I like this definition. Actually, I find this characterization pretty compelling. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with regular guys? Applying it, I would easily call Craig and many of the men I have met at the Tribe regular. I would love to see more regulars join the Tribe (what do you say??).
But, what is the opposite of regular? Irregular? As stated above, is it one who is “power-hungry, arrogant, super competitive, insecure, or egotistical?” Under this view, regular is borderline perfect and the opposite is flawed, damaged. When I or others refer to the Tribe as a “bunch of regular guys,” do we do so to make showing up less intimidating? Boy, that doesn’t feel right. The regular guys I love have flaws and are damaged to go along with their other great qualities. They are no less weird than anybody else.
So, the Tribe is a place for regulars and irregulars. Our vision is to live in a more harmonious world by deepening the connections amongst men. Not just regular men. All men. Come join us.